Whatever the time of year, break ups are painful, heartbreaking and hard to deal with. But they’re especially devastating when they happen over the holidays. So why do relationships break down during the festive season. After all, isn’t it supposed to be a merry, jolly time full of love, peace and good will to all men?

Well the answer is that there are actually quite a number of contributing factors. The biggest and most obvious is probably financial strain.

Couples feel obliged to spend on luxurious, overpriced gifts in order to prove to their nearest and dearest how much they love them. Come on girls, we’re all guilty of giving purposely not too subtle hints about the presents that we just have to have, or just casually and repeatedly mentioning the pair of shoes that you happened to see, which by the way would look good with the designer dress that you tried on and absolutely cant live without.

While this may seem harmless, fun and maybe even cute to you, you might actually be putting a lot of pressure on your partner, and although you convince yourself that a new dress is a small price for your man to pay in order to make you happy, what if that dress costs you your relationship.

Christmas and New Year, although a time for celebration can be very stressful, and a lot of pressure is put on our partners to get everything right.
We want them to look presentable and speak well to impress our parents at the family dinner, we want them to come across sociable and laugh along with the jokes they don’t get at our friends Christmas party, and we want them to nod in the right places and look convincingly interested when chatting to colleagues at the Christmas work do. If they don’t all hell breaks loose.

What you have to remember is that Christmas doesn’t revolve around you. It is a time when the whole family gets together. So apart from you, your boyfriend is thinking about getting the perfect present for his sister who just had a baby, a thoughtful present for his mother who he wants to show his appreciation for and a useful gift for his grandmother who he guiltily, rarely sees. Now for us ladies not only is this very easy, it’s also fun, after all it’s just another excuse to shop. For men it’s not so enjoyable and it can actually be strenuous and exhausting. Adding pressure to your man by insisting that he do all these things just pushes him away, takes all the fun out of the holiday and can lead to a break-up.

So how can you holiday proof you relationship, and ensure that you see it right through Christmas, soar past New Years and beyond. Here are 5 easy ways to make sure you’re not sobbing over heartbreak and comfort eating on turkey when you should be enjoying the special day that ‘tis Christmas:

1. Don’t pressure your guy to partake in events that you know he doesn’t like. We all love bragging to our friends and colleagues about how wonderful, thoughtful kind and loving our blokes are, and Christmas parties are the perfect time to drag our fellas along and prove that all that boasting was true. However, if your man would prefer not to sit through boring banter with your boss about a subject he has no clue or real interest in; it would be a good idea not to force him. He’ll only be unrelaxed and unnatural anyway, it will be apparent that he’s not interested and you giving him an ear bashing on the ride home for not making an effort will make him feel unappreciated for at least coming. Basically the night ends with both of you in a bad mood.

2. Do make presents for each other. Instead of getting your man to buy a gift that will max out his credit card, put him in debt and probably destroy his credit status. Why not try making gifts this year? I’d actually prefer a beautiful necklace I hear you protest. You’ll find that something made is actually more special, intimate and thoughtful, because it means he took time to think about you, what he knows you’d like and then put it together. Whatever he makes will be something personal, original and will leave enough money in the bank for him to pay the bills next month.

3. Don’t make such a fuss over the holidays. Relax!! Christmas is just one day out of the whole year. Fussing about buying the right gifts for family, what you should wear and how he should dress is just unnecessary hype. It also makes the whole day less enjoyable, how about going casual this year, his parents will probably find you more approachable and he will feel more relaxed and comfortable too.

4. Do make sure that you spend quality time with each other, it so easy to forget to have some alone time when your gallivanting from one family/friends party to another. Make sure this year that you get to share some special time alone, exchange your hand-made gifts, and watch the special Christmas episode of your favourite programme while munching on a box of chocs in your pyjamas. This way you can feel good in the knowledge that you had a nice quiet special time before your bombarded with the hustle and bustle of family, friends and shrieking kids.

5. Don’t forget what Christmas is truly about, it’s easy to forget because it has been extremely commercialised. If you don’t know what Christmas is really about then ponder on it a little. This might make you see how irrelevant and unimportant everything else is. Take time to reflect on where you were at the start of the year and how you and your partner have managed to make it to the end because some people haven’t.

Congratulations, your relationship is now holiday-proof!!

Christmas is supposed to be cheerful, happy and fun, so take a chill pill, don’t allow society to brainwash you into making such a big deal of everything. Spend quality time instead of money, and I guarantee that your relationship will see next Christmas!!

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